"Well, here's to your first OGT. Obviously Gay Trait. Mine are: love of The Carpenters, culinary interests, and intense fear of blood sports."
For those who saw this old movie about this group of gay friends, "The Broken Hearts Club" or something like that, one of the terms they used was the OGT or "Obviously Gay Trait." I don't know if this term has been widely used before it, but undoubtedly it has been used more ever since.
OGTs are deceiving. Taken individually, they're not a guarantee to produce a homosexual man. Together though, it's like magic. Goes to show that men who are gay are truly more than the sum of their parts.
Some of mine are
1. Love for theatre
2. Love for cats
3. Appreciation for Shakespeare
So with that I present to you a surprisingly pleasant mix of my three OGTs. I love the one who plays Rosencrantz, cute eyes, full of personality. Although I think he also played Guildenstern, so yeah, whatever. Come to think of it, I have that cardboard cutout Elizabethan theatre used in this clip. I bought on an impulse at this tiny, tiny museum of music in Oxford.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Who is this guy?
This is one of the hottest guys I've seen online as of the late.
From the looks of it, he's Asian-American, possible of mixed races (as demonstrated by his, er, assets) and wears glasses. Extra points for guys with glasses, which I find particularly cute. He's been featured in Queer Click before, but they never got around to revealing him until now, which is over a year later. The only thing we knew last week is that his name's Jason Chen and that he's possibly cute. Now we know that he's got, er, blessings, which certainly got my attention. I don't usually go for guys whose faces are hidden, but this guy is just - WOW.
For the more -ahem- detailed pictures, go on over to Queer Click. A word of warning though, these pictures are highly graphic in nature and are NOT SAFE for viewing IN PUBLIC PLACES or AT WORK. If you have no qualms about it, click here.
From the looks of it, he's Asian-American, possible of mixed races (as demonstrated by his, er, assets) and wears glasses. Extra points for guys with glasses, which I find particularly cute. He's been featured in Queer Click before, but they never got around to revealing him until now, which is over a year later. The only thing we knew last week is that his name's Jason Chen and that he's possibly cute. Now we know that he's got, er, blessings, which certainly got my attention. I don't usually go for guys whose faces are hidden, but this guy is just - WOW.
For the more -ahem- detailed pictures, go on over to Queer Click. A word of warning though, these pictures are highly graphic in nature and are NOT SAFE for viewing IN PUBLIC PLACES or AT WORK. If you have no qualms about it, click here.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Pseudo Date Number Wha?
Crap, just when I thought it was time to move on.
Yesterday as I was typing in my blog entry, I received a message on Friendster. Actually, it was a reply to a message I sent this guy I sorta liked before. The thing was we never really got to meet. I tried sending him a couple of messages last June and he didn't reply. So I thought, all right, time to move on. Call in the next guy!
Turns out he lost his phone. Or so he says in his message. I'm inclined to believe him, so yeah, he wants to reestablish communication. That made my day. However one cannot look too eager or too excited.
So as with anything that is bound to fuck up your head, the unexpected happens.
I was getting ready to go out for the day. Maybe go to work for some extra overtime paperwork (I do this for fun) or hit the mall with some friends. I also had plans to have dinner with a friend, the one who introduced me to Kakkoii.
Then Kakkoii texts. Crap.
He's sort of asking me out in a very non-committal sort of way.
Didjaget that? No? Lemme rephrase.
He said something like this.
Are you in the area?
Not yet, but I'm on my way. What did you have in mind?
Nothing. I just might want company for dinner.
Ladies and gentlemen, I haved just presented to you the non-committal dinner invite.
To rearrange my schedule or not? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageously ambigious pseudo-dates or by taking arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them?
So I did.
After a series of misunderstandings, we finally met. He was with two guys whom he introduced to me as the friends of our other common friend, James. The two immediately left and after a week and a half, I was with Kakkoii again.
No we weren't on a date. He pretty much made that clear when he told me that those two asked if he was on one. His reply? Yeah, not really.
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
Gee, that made me feel reeeeeaaal special.
He then added that the two guys said, "Aaah, yeah we know you two are going out. James told us."
Gah.
So pseudo-date number who knows what proceeds well enough. We always enjoy our time together. It's the time away that brings about problems.
However I did encounter one critical flaw in his definition of a date. When he found out that I was with James that afternoon, he remarked,
You should have told me that you were with James, that way I wouldn't have interrupted your date.
Where the fuck did that come from? He knows very well that James and I are friends and just that. And if James and I are "dating" then I'm frickin' engaged to Kakkoii already by that definition of his. Of course, using his other definition of dating (which he applied to the time we're together), relatively James and I are merely aquaintances.
Mixed signals as usual.
When I told him I went to work in the afternoon. He asked me why I had to report to work since it was a Saturday.
I said it was because I didn't have anything better to do, so I decided to work. It's what I always do.
He then opened his mouth to say something, only to take it back. He said it was because it sounded like he was fishing for a compliment.
I twisted his arm for him to say it and after a bit of hesitation, he said:
I meant to say, you'd rather to go work than hang out with me.
Uh, he doesn't text me for days and he expects me to hang out with him? Like I always say, I'm a straightforward guy. Reject me, I'll go away.
So I throw back to him this statement:
You didn't ask me out.
He didn't look at me.
Satisfied with my answer?, I smiled.
No, not really.
I leave this story at this point. What did he mean by that? Discuss the answer amongst yourselves children.
Yesterday as I was typing in my blog entry, I received a message on Friendster. Actually, it was a reply to a message I sent this guy I sorta liked before. The thing was we never really got to meet. I tried sending him a couple of messages last June and he didn't reply. So I thought, all right, time to move on. Call in the next guy!
Turns out he lost his phone. Or so he says in his message. I'm inclined to believe him, so yeah, he wants to reestablish communication. That made my day. However one cannot look too eager or too excited.
So as with anything that is bound to fuck up your head, the unexpected happens.
I was getting ready to go out for the day. Maybe go to work for some extra overtime paperwork (I do this for fun) or hit the mall with some friends. I also had plans to have dinner with a friend, the one who introduced me to Kakkoii.
Then Kakkoii texts. Crap.
He's sort of asking me out in a very non-committal sort of way.
Didjaget that? No? Lemme rephrase.
He said something like this.
Are you in the area?
Not yet, but I'm on my way. What did you have in mind?
Nothing. I just might want company for dinner.
Ladies and gentlemen, I haved just presented to you the non-committal dinner invite.
To rearrange my schedule or not? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageously ambigious pseudo-dates or by taking arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them?
So I did.
After a series of misunderstandings, we finally met. He was with two guys whom he introduced to me as the friends of our other common friend, James. The two immediately left and after a week and a half, I was with Kakkoii again.
No we weren't on a date. He pretty much made that clear when he told me that those two asked if he was on one. His reply? Yeah, not really.
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
Gee, that made me feel reeeeeaaal special.
He then added that the two guys said, "Aaah, yeah we know you two are going out. James told us."
Gah.
So pseudo-date number who knows what proceeds well enough. We always enjoy our time together. It's the time away that brings about problems.
However I did encounter one critical flaw in his definition of a date. When he found out that I was with James that afternoon, he remarked,
You should have told me that you were with James, that way I wouldn't have interrupted your date.
Where the fuck did that come from? He knows very well that James and I are friends and just that. And if James and I are "dating" then I'm frickin' engaged to Kakkoii already by that definition of his. Of course, using his other definition of dating (which he applied to the time we're together), relatively James and I are merely aquaintances.
Mixed signals as usual.
When I told him I went to work in the afternoon. He asked me why I had to report to work since it was a Saturday.
I said it was because I didn't have anything better to do, so I decided to work. It's what I always do.
He then opened his mouth to say something, only to take it back. He said it was because it sounded like he was fishing for a compliment.
I twisted his arm for him to say it and after a bit of hesitation, he said:
I meant to say, you'd rather to go work than hang out with me.
Uh, he doesn't text me for days and he expects me to hang out with him? Like I always say, I'm a straightforward guy. Reject me, I'll go away.
So I throw back to him this statement:
You didn't ask me out.
He didn't look at me.
Satisfied with my answer?, I smiled.
No, not really.
I leave this story at this point. What did he mean by that? Discuss the answer amongst yourselves children.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Losing Count of Dates and Not Losing One
It seems that it's a good sign if you lose count of how many dates you've been on...
Date Two was followed by Date Three at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant, incidentally, we were the only non-Japanese in that small nook. Pretty nice. Date four was at a Vietnamese restaurant because we thought that we ate too much Japanese food. He wasn't in a particularly good mood that day so I tracked down this graphic novel that he was looking for. I gave to him with a note that said "Because you had a bad day and since a dozen roses wouldn't suit you." He was happy as a clam and was grinning from ear to ear.
Date five was a big one. We had lunch at a Wendy's at the mall, with me spilling my Coke on the table (gah) which exposed my klutzy side. He seemed irritated, but was gentlemanly enough to help me clean up the cola swamp on our table. We left the mall for a book expo which was crowded as hell, but fun nonetheless. After that we went to this huge new mall which almost felt a like theme park in its scope and design. We caught a movie, a romantic comedy, and about more than an hour into it, as the music turned mellow over a scene in Paris, he grabbed my hand and held onto it. -swoon- For dinner, we went back to the sushi bar we went the week before. No all-you-can-eat for us at that time, but more Japanese curry though (we both just love that stuff). I drove him home once again and I held his hand for a good length of time as we crawled through the freeway.
The next day, Sunday, was spent flirting and missing each other through phone calls and text messages and when Monday came, I was hot and bothered for him. I picked him up from the gym and had dinner at the Japanese restaurant where we had our first date. We went back to his place and I watched TV while he went to the bathroom. There I was, plopped on his beanbag, when he suddenly lunged for me. I couldn't really breathe, but I happily reciprocated his kiss. This guy was beautiful. I went home that night with a shit-eating grin on my face.
At this point let me interrupt my narrative. Chances are one would expect some sort of happy ending or least a period of contentment, but sadly that was not to be.
The following day, Kakkoii suddenly became quite grumpy. I called him up after I got home from work and he said he was busy and that he'd call me back. When he finally did the conversation went rather well but as we were saying our good nights and good byes, he suddenly said something to the effect that he really didn't want to call since calling me up would mean that he'd up until eleven.
-ouch-
That was cold.
Being the nice guy that I am, I calmly told him that it was all right and that he shouldn't have called if he felt that way.
I woke up the following day - annoyed like hell. He sent me a message apologizing for his behavior the previous night. I told him that I wasn't mad, but I didn't appreciate him making me feel like I'm some sort of intrusion into his life. He barely responded to my texts later that day. I wanted to meet up with him, but reading that he didn't want to, I made other plans.
Later that night, he sends this message to me: Funny, I was kinda expecting to see you outside the gym.
Crap. What was I supposed to say to that?
I wanted to, but the thought that you were mad at me or that you didn't want to see me stopped me.
That was all right. The following day however I waited for his call. He said that he was depressed and wanted to crawl back into his shell.
Surprise, surprise. He called his ex and needed a shoulder to cry on. Shit.
Facts I learned that night:
1. He broke up with his ex last July (we started going out August)
I could deal with this, technically they broke up already.
2. He then said they really didn't break up, they were just "cooling off."
Why doesn't he just fuck with my brain some more? Still, I could deal with this.
3. He said that he thought of me as someone who could possibly help him forget his ex.
Do I have the word martyr tattooed on my forehead? Ouch, but since I dated him with the premise that I was also trying to get over someone else, I could deal with this.
4. He said that he never really considered us dating.
THIS, I cannot deal with. There's a world of a difference between just hanging out and dating in my book. Going out, holding hands, kissing and sleeping with each other does not add up to not dating. It may not add up to a relationship just yet, but definitely not friendly.
We went out a few more times. I felt like he pushed me back to square one. Go back to GO, do not collect $200. Screwed me up like nothing else in recent memory. Little by little, things went back a little bit. There was the slight nod to us still meeting regularly and that I was still slowly becoming a part of his schedule. That was good. Not great but good.
However, dark clouds loomed over the horizon. He suddenly stopped texting warmly. He suddenly became cold and distant. When I asked him out, he simply replied: No thanks.
If that's not rejection, I don't know what it is.
I proceeded to ignore him but after a couple of days, he sent me a message. I replied, hoping that he'd be opening up. It turns out it was a set-up for more mindgames.
And then it just stopped. A month of frequent whatevers just stopped and I don't know why.
So how do I feel?
Not great, but good.
I didn't lose. And I didn't lose him either.
After all, you can't lose what you never had in the first place.
Date Two was followed by Date Three at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant, incidentally, we were the only non-Japanese in that small nook. Pretty nice. Date four was at a Vietnamese restaurant because we thought that we ate too much Japanese food. He wasn't in a particularly good mood that day so I tracked down this graphic novel that he was looking for. I gave to him with a note that said "Because you had a bad day and since a dozen roses wouldn't suit you." He was happy as a clam and was grinning from ear to ear.
Date five was a big one. We had lunch at a Wendy's at the mall, with me spilling my Coke on the table (gah) which exposed my klutzy side. He seemed irritated, but was gentlemanly enough to help me clean up the cola swamp on our table. We left the mall for a book expo which was crowded as hell, but fun nonetheless. After that we went to this huge new mall which almost felt a like theme park in its scope and design. We caught a movie, a romantic comedy, and about more than an hour into it, as the music turned mellow over a scene in Paris, he grabbed my hand and held onto it. -swoon- For dinner, we went back to the sushi bar we went the week before. No all-you-can-eat for us at that time, but more Japanese curry though (we both just love that stuff). I drove him home once again and I held his hand for a good length of time as we crawled through the freeway.
The next day, Sunday, was spent flirting and missing each other through phone calls and text messages and when Monday came, I was hot and bothered for him. I picked him up from the gym and had dinner at the Japanese restaurant where we had our first date. We went back to his place and I watched TV while he went to the bathroom. There I was, plopped on his beanbag, when he suddenly lunged for me. I couldn't really breathe, but I happily reciprocated his kiss. This guy was beautiful. I went home that night with a shit-eating grin on my face.
At this point let me interrupt my narrative. Chances are one would expect some sort of happy ending or least a period of contentment, but sadly that was not to be.
The following day, Kakkoii suddenly became quite grumpy. I called him up after I got home from work and he said he was busy and that he'd call me back. When he finally did the conversation went rather well but as we were saying our good nights and good byes, he suddenly said something to the effect that he really didn't want to call since calling me up would mean that he'd up until eleven.
-ouch-
That was cold.
Being the nice guy that I am, I calmly told him that it was all right and that he shouldn't have called if he felt that way.
I woke up the following day - annoyed like hell. He sent me a message apologizing for his behavior the previous night. I told him that I wasn't mad, but I didn't appreciate him making me feel like I'm some sort of intrusion into his life. He barely responded to my texts later that day. I wanted to meet up with him, but reading that he didn't want to, I made other plans.
Later that night, he sends this message to me: Funny, I was kinda expecting to see you outside the gym.
Crap. What was I supposed to say to that?
I wanted to, but the thought that you were mad at me or that you didn't want to see me stopped me.
That was all right. The following day however I waited for his call. He said that he was depressed and wanted to crawl back into his shell.
Surprise, surprise. He called his ex and needed a shoulder to cry on. Shit.
Facts I learned that night:
1. He broke up with his ex last July (we started going out August)
I could deal with this, technically they broke up already.
2. He then said they really didn't break up, they were just "cooling off."
Why doesn't he just fuck with my brain some more? Still, I could deal with this.
3. He said that he thought of me as someone who could possibly help him forget his ex.
Do I have the word martyr tattooed on my forehead? Ouch, but since I dated him with the premise that I was also trying to get over someone else, I could deal with this.
4. He said that he never really considered us dating.
THIS, I cannot deal with. There's a world of a difference between just hanging out and dating in my book. Going out, holding hands, kissing and sleeping with each other does not add up to not dating. It may not add up to a relationship just yet, but definitely not friendly.
We went out a few more times. I felt like he pushed me back to square one. Go back to GO, do not collect $200. Screwed me up like nothing else in recent memory. Little by little, things went back a little bit. There was the slight nod to us still meeting regularly and that I was still slowly becoming a part of his schedule. That was good. Not great but good.
However, dark clouds loomed over the horizon. He suddenly stopped texting warmly. He suddenly became cold and distant. When I asked him out, he simply replied: No thanks.
If that's not rejection, I don't know what it is.
I proceeded to ignore him but after a couple of days, he sent me a message. I replied, hoping that he'd be opening up. It turns out it was a set-up for more mindgames.
And then it just stopped. A month of frequent whatevers just stopped and I don't know why.
So how do I feel?
Not great, but good.
I didn't lose. And I didn't lose him either.
After all, you can't lose what you never had in the first place.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
The Dating Fool
Major update for myself, not that anyone's actually reading this shit.
The day after my first date, I was in a daze. That's putting it mildly. I think I was sort of on a natural high.
Most of the dates I go on are absurdly awkward. I remember one wherein I liked the guy, a college brat, but he didn't like me back, so it was just a numbingly tense experience. I didn't help that our date movie was "Ringu." Bad, bad idea. The other one I recall, was with this widowed hippie and the guy was all over me. While I really didn't do anything to encourage him, he kept grabbing my hand in the cinema and being all fresh and stuff. The movie was "Scary Movie 3." I don't know which was scarier, my date, the horrible movie or that fact that after the movie he insisted on treating me to a hot oil treatment at the salon. WHAT THE FRICKIN' FUCK? Oh yeah, another was with this Joe Schmoe guy who was new to the city and could barely sustain a conversation with me, but boy was the sex good.
Crap, so my dating record hasn't been very good. That's why I'm extremely nervous about this guy. I haven't dated in two years! Okay, maybe a year, but that one was just vague. This guy, whom I shall refer to as Kakkoii, is on so many levels just like me and at the same time, so different from me as well. So maybe he's has some baggage, I can live with that. Who doesn't have baggage anyway?
So where was I? Ah yes, that post-great-date-high....
I texted him the following day (this was last, last Monday) with the usual "how are yous" and "I really enjoyed last night" messages. Then I felt impulsive and asked him if he wanted to have dinner that night.
I became very nervous. Was I being too aggressive? A great date doesn't always mean it gets a follow up.
I'd love to, but I don't have enough money to eat somewhere nice and I left my ATM at home
Great, he doesn't want me. I decided I'd try one more time.
Don't worry, my treat.
A beat.
That might be too embarassing.
Crap. I couldn't really think of anything else to say. Nothing was clearer at that moment than I wanting to go out with him again. One last shot.
Hey, don't worry, it's pretty simple actually. Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? If no, then fine, no questions asked. If yes, then we'll have dinner. My treat. Won't be a problem.
Fuck, the cyncical closeted guy actually becoming agressive? I had butterflies in my stomach and I felt like I had to leave my desk to go to the toilet to throw up. My friend, amused, looked at me pace around the office like an idiot.
My phone rumbles and rings. A message from Kakkoii.
Sure, I wanna have dinner wija.
w00t!!!
I flew as soon as the clock struck five and an hour later I was in front of his gym, picking him up. We went a Japanese coffee shop (didn't we just eat Japanese food the day before?) and has some really good spicy Japanese pasta and Japanese seafood curry.
We both acknowledged the idea that this might go somewhere, but agreed that we won't tell our common friend who introduced us...yet. Who knows where this will lead? I'll be a prude for now.
I drove him to his house and we hung out in his room. I helped him solve some PC-to-mobile phone issue that he's having and played some Playstation 2.
No kiss that night...
but happy nonetheless.
The day after my first date, I was in a daze. That's putting it mildly. I think I was sort of on a natural high.
Most of the dates I go on are absurdly awkward. I remember one wherein I liked the guy, a college brat, but he didn't like me back, so it was just a numbingly tense experience. I didn't help that our date movie was "Ringu." Bad, bad idea. The other one I recall, was with this widowed hippie and the guy was all over me. While I really didn't do anything to encourage him, he kept grabbing my hand in the cinema and being all fresh and stuff. The movie was "Scary Movie 3." I don't know which was scarier, my date, the horrible movie or that fact that after the movie he insisted on treating me to a hot oil treatment at the salon. WHAT THE FRICKIN' FUCK? Oh yeah, another was with this Joe Schmoe guy who was new to the city and could barely sustain a conversation with me, but boy was the sex good.
Crap, so my dating record hasn't been very good. That's why I'm extremely nervous about this guy. I haven't dated in two years! Okay, maybe a year, but that one was just vague. This guy, whom I shall refer to as Kakkoii, is on so many levels just like me and at the same time, so different from me as well. So maybe he's has some baggage, I can live with that. Who doesn't have baggage anyway?
So where was I? Ah yes, that post-great-date-high....
I texted him the following day (this was last, last Monday) with the usual "how are yous" and "I really enjoyed last night" messages. Then I felt impulsive and asked him if he wanted to have dinner that night.
I became very nervous. Was I being too aggressive? A great date doesn't always mean it gets a follow up.
I'd love to, but I don't have enough money to eat somewhere nice and I left my ATM at home
Great, he doesn't want me. I decided I'd try one more time.
Don't worry, my treat.
A beat.
That might be too embarassing.
Crap. I couldn't really think of anything else to say. Nothing was clearer at that moment than I wanting to go out with him again. One last shot.
Hey, don't worry, it's pretty simple actually. Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? If no, then fine, no questions asked. If yes, then we'll have dinner. My treat. Won't be a problem.
Fuck, the cyncical closeted guy actually becoming agressive? I had butterflies in my stomach and I felt like I had to leave my desk to go to the toilet to throw up. My friend, amused, looked at me pace around the office like an idiot.
My phone rumbles and rings. A message from Kakkoii.
Sure, I wanna have dinner wija.
w00t!!!
I flew as soon as the clock struck five and an hour later I was in front of his gym, picking him up. We went a Japanese coffee shop (didn't we just eat Japanese food the day before?) and has some really good spicy Japanese pasta and Japanese seafood curry.
We both acknowledged the idea that this might go somewhere, but agreed that we won't tell our common friend who introduced us...yet. Who knows where this will lead? I'll be a prude for now.
I drove him to his house and we hung out in his room. I helped him solve some PC-to-mobile phone issue that he's having and played some Playstation 2.
No kiss that night...
but happy nonetheless.
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